


Still Don't Know What I Was Waiting For

by Ithinkwehaveanemergency



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 22:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithinkwehaveanemergency/pseuds/Ithinkwehaveanemergency
Summary: Eddie comes home without Christopher after his family's holiday party. And thinks it's time to have a talk with his best friend and housemate, Buck.(This fic is canon compliant as of now, but I'm sure that won't last for long.)





	Still Don't Know What I Was Waiting For

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the Shawn Mullins version of David Bowie's 'Changes' because it's in the movie they're watching and also it's voting day and it's an appropriate song for that.

_ “We think aliens are taking over the school.” _

 

“That's not a Christmas movie.”  Eddie jokes as he walks into his house.

 

Buck jumps off the couch, bowl of popcorn in hand, as the live voice sounds in the large, empty room.  Some of the popcorn goes flying. Buck stares at Eddie with wide eyes.

 

“What are you doing here?  You scared the shit out of me!”  Buck squeals, face reddening in clear embarrassment at his lack of composure upon being surprised.

 

“I… live here, Buck.”  Eddie laughs and sets his keys down on the counter.

 

“Shut up, you know what I meant.”  Buck grabs the remote and pauses  The Faculty as he relaxes back onto the couch.  “I figured you would stay at your ex's house like you usually do when Christopher stays there.”

 

Eddie squints at the back of Buck's head.  There's a pinched tone to when Buck says “your ex” that Eddie doesn't remember hearing before.

 

Or maybe his mind just hadn't been looking for it.

 

“Yeah, I just left him so they could get used to having some quality time alone.  He fell asleep on the way back from the fiesta. My Tia makes the most addicting pastelitos.”

 

“I don't know if I’ve had the pleasure, but I know she makes amazing pretty much everything.”

 

“They uh… they send their love, by the way.”

 

“Ah, the fam?  I miss them.” Buck's neck twists until he's looking into the harsh light of Eddie's kitchen.  Their kitchen. Buck’s been living in the small house, helping with rent, helping with Chris when needed, for two months.  Eddie had started calling it their place immediately. “How is your cousin Xavier doing?  Knee surgery go okay?  Also, thought that the whole family was still ignoring you.  I was surprised they let you and your wife stay and hang out.”

 

“Yeah, he's good, everyones good.  Buck, I uh…”  Eddie rounds the kitchen island and makes his way to the couch.  He picks up a couple stray kernels that Buck had spilled, even though he's not bothered by them, he just needs something to do with his hands.  Buck always does more than his share of the cleaning. He's the perfect housemate. He's the perfect everything. And that's why… “Buck they’re fine with Shannon now.  They're fine because we finally told the family that we filed for divorce.”

 

Buck stills from where he'd been reaching down to get other kernels from the floor, following Eddie’s lead as always.

 

Eddie knows that Buck will always be there, in step with him without second thought.  Not just because they're teammates at work, but because they're teammates in life.

 

Eddie's wife knew that the second she saw them together.  And Eddie's family apparently knew that before, which made trying to reintegrate Christopher's mom harder than it would have been before.  They'd stop trying long ago, splitting Christopher between houses, but trying to still work like one family. There was an unspoken agreement between the married couple that while they would always love each other, they'd both moved on in their own ways.

 

“You're what?”  Buck whispers, sitting back on the couch again.  His face is crumpled in confusion and Eddie wants to kiss him.

 

Eddie has felt that way a couple times before, but never considered the fact that he really meant it.  He really wants to kiss the man in front of him whenever he does something sweet or ridiculous or makes an adorable face.

 

Then he wants to tell him he loves him.

 

Which…  _ there _ are three words Eddie has never admitted to himself.

 

“I had moved on  _ long _ before she came back.”  Eddie starts to word vomit, because there's no other way to get this out.  Buck speaks too slow to ever be able to cut him off, but Eddie still feels the need to makes sure he gets through it all uninterrupted.  “I really just felt nothing romantic for her after that first day she came back. We haven’t slept together Buck, we were trying to maybe date at first, but that's not what happens when I stay there.  Like I said, I really had completely moved on. I don't know when it happened. I don't remember when I stopped wanting her like that, but I know it was long before she came back.”

 

“Eddie, what-”

 

“Wait, just…”  Eddie sits on the edge of the coffee table, his knee knocking into the outside of Buck's.  He looks up and Eddie looks so confused that he starts to doubt that his family is right about them.  But Eddie has come this far, and he's not going to back out now. He looks down at his hands as he goes on.  “Buck, my family has this crazy idea that you have feelings for… Well I mean… my Tia, Shannon, probably Christopher… they all think you're in love-”

 

“I am.”  Buck interrupts suddenly.

 

Eddie's eyes fly up to meet Buck's, thrown by the unexpected response.  He hadn't even been able to say it out loud himself, and Buck seems like he's not embarrassed or surprised in the least.

 

“Eddie, I thought you knew that I was attracted to you and were fine with it.”  Buck shrugs, looking away. He sighs and looks down to pick at the hem of his shorts.  “Dude. We're best friends. No matter what. I just thought it was some like… unspoken not-so-inside joke.  I accidentally fell head-over-heels for you and you aren't weirded out by it.”

 

“Buck, why would that be a joke?”  Eddie frowns, sitting up straighter.

 

“No, I didn't mean it like that.”

 

“Then how did you mean it?”  Eddie stands up and walks a few paces a way, trying to realign his thoughts.  “I’m just really confused, Buck. You dated. You were happy for a bit even. You never even hinted that you wanted something with me.  My wife came back and I kissed her and I tried to be with her and all I could think about was how it was the wrong person. That's why it didn't work.  I was even going to talk to you about my problems, but I didn’t want to bring you down. You were dating and you were happy and you looked like you were really figuring things out!”

 

“I was!”  Buck cries out angrily.  Eddie turns to face him and sees the creases in his forehead deepen.  “And what I figured out was that I was happiest when I was with you. I am.  I'm happiest when I'm with you. That's why I'm here. That's why I took a break from dating.  Coming home and spend time with you and Christopher, even just as your best friend... Look, I knew this living arrangement wasn't forever, but I didn't mind.  For right now, it's what's important to me. No matter what happens, you're both so important to me.”

 

Eddie’s heart pounds painfully in his chest as he realizes that Buck means it.  He really is in love with Eddie.

 

“Eddie, all I want is for you to be happy.”  Buck laughs and runs a hand through his hair.  He looks at the door and the kitchen and then out the window before settling back on Eddie.  “I thought it was your wife coming back into your life, and the prospect of possibly having a  _ family _ again that was making you happy.  And I was at peace with that, because that's what you do when you love someone.  You want them to be happy.”

 

“So…”  Eddie speaks slowly and steps toward Buck.  “If I tell you that the possibility of having a family  **_is_ ** the thing that's been making me happy?”

 

“Then I'll be happy for you, but you just said-”

 

“I said I am getting a divorce, yes.”  Eddie nods and takes another step closer to Buck, who still looks frustrated and confused.  “But I also did just imply that I have feelings for you. That I feel the same way you do.”

 

Buck sucks in a shaky breath.

 

“You do?”

 

“Buck, the  _ family _ I want is the one that lives inside these walls.”  Eddie reaches up and grips the side of Buck's neck and Buck's hand instantly flies up to cover his own.  Buck lets out a quick exhale and smiles, though his brow is still furrowed in confusion. “My Tia, and Shannon, and Christopher don't just think that you're in love with me.  They think  _ we're _ in love with each other.  And they want us to be happy together.   _ I want us to be happy together. _ ”

 

“So do I.”  Buck whispers and nods his head.

 

The taller man brings his free hand up and pulls Eddie up by the back of the head into a hard kiss.  Eddie’s free hand comes up to grip Buck's hip and pull them closer, and soon their hands are everywhere.

 

He's not sure who has deepens the kiss, but Eddie takes the reigns and pushes Buck back onto the couch and straddles his hips as their tongues and teeth clash desperately.

 

Eddie scratches blunt nails across Buck’s scalp, groaning when it earns his glutes a firm squeeze through his slacks.  It makes him cant his hips forward, pressing his now obvious erection into Buck's abdomen.

 

“Eddie.”  Buck moans between kisses.

 

“Yeah, baby?” Eddie answers before moving to bite at the jaw of the man beneath him, sucking gently at the vein on the side of Buck's neck.  Eddie absently realizes that he's wanted to do that for a long, long time.

 

“Eddie.”  Buck laughs, a husky heady sound, and Eddie bites down on the bruise he's created.  “God, you're doing great, great things. I want to continue to do all of them, but like… you know this is new territory for me, yeah?  I have no clue what I'm supposed to do back.”

 

Eddie pauses and sits back, Buck's hands on his ass keeping them still firmly connected, and looks down with an amused expression.

 

“You think I know what I'm doing?”

 

Buck’s mouth twists in a strange expression that looks like he's about to speak, but has absolutely nothing to say.

 

“Well… do you?”  Buck settles on, finally. 

 

“Buck, the closest thing to sex with another guy I've done is jacking off in the same room.  And that wasn't sexy. At all. It was a necessity.”

 

“Oh.”  Buck breathes out, getting the implication.

 

“I've only ever had sex with three people, all women, only one of them more than once.”  Eddie divulges. “And before you can get uncomfortable, yes, I am well aware of how many women you've been with.  And I could give a shit.”

 

Buck looks to the side, confusion fading into a more pensive look.

 

“We don't have to do this now, Buck.  If you’re on the same page as I am, then we have plenty of time.”  Eddie frowns, pulling back a bit more. Buck immediately pulls him back in, closer this time.  He presses their foreheads together.

 

“I want this.  I am totally on the same page.  I’m really not even that nervous, considering…”  Buck whispers, eyes shut. A smile falls across his face, and Eddie feels relief wash over his own.  “Want to finish my movie with me and then when can go finish this in a bed?”

 

“But its not even a Christmas movie.”  Eddie chides.

 

Buck rears his head back, shocked and amused.

 

“Well Christmas is over!  And it's your favorite movie!”

 

“Is that why you were watching it?”  Eddie laughs, but when Buck nods, the laughter falls away.

 

“I missed you.”  Buck smiles. “It makes me think of you and that time on Halloween when you invited me over to watch movies while Christopher was knocked out from all the excitement.  You fell asleep halfway through  Idle Hands with your head in my lap and I looked at you and thought, ‘God, I wish I could have this.’ ”

 

Eddie kisses him, unable to contain the urge now that he doesn't have to.

 

“You can.  We can.”  Eddie mutters against Buck's lips and slides off his lap to grab the remote.  “I'm sorry it took me so long to make it clear, but you can have all of it. And I have no opposition to it being forever.”

 

They settle into the couch.  Eddie props himself up in the corner and pulls Buck into his side.  The younger man his wraps his arms tightly around Eddie's torso and sighs as the movie is unpaused.

 

Eddie kisses the top of Buck's head and smiles as Elijah Wood tries to thwart an alien uprising.


End file.
